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Kipper Me Capstans! Sexploits at Sea

Through the ages there has been notorious real life tales of sexual exploits on the high seas.  Seemingly when confined on a long journey there was a lot more than swinging the lead, taking a caulk or swigging a Bumboo or seven,  going on!

The legend that women were considered unlucky and therefore not allowed on a ship is a little ironic as most had topless women as figureheads.  However it is likely that during the seventeenth century this was true, it was widely known that the sailors would take on board a Dame De Voyage or a Dame de Viaje (Spanish).  This was in fact the equivalent of a blow up doll today. Made  up of rags cloth or old clothing, this served as a masturbatory aid, mainly held together by dried spunk and readily passed around  to more than one other sailor!   At this point you might go and want to check that sock in your drawer and check your brother/best mate hasn’t been having a go! Not surprisingly there is no pictorial evidence of these cum coated wank aids, as hardly likely they would be taking it home for  the good lady at home to wash!   

Probably a little more of a two way experience took place on the Chinese Flower Boats. These floating vessels or pleasure palaces were home to drugs, drink, good food, music and prostitutes.  Girls would end up here mainly from being sold by desperate, poor parents and had no choice but to succumb to the life of a prostitute.  Eventually the American West invented similar types of sex shack’s known as floating Hog Ranches, which were simply brothels on the sea.    One infamous hooker, Ching Shih who worked on a Flower Boat, changed her fate and became better known as one of the fiercest and successful pirates on the high seas. This came about when a captain came aboard looking for a wife.  Ching Shih was bound and taken back to his ship, but on releasing her,  she embarked on a ferocious attack on him, causing facial damage and nearly clawed his eyes out.  Naturally, of course, this sealed the deal and he fell madly in love with her and they ended up married!   This led to her subsequent life of piracy until she retired unconquered and immensely rich. She spent her last 30 years in retirement running a brothel in Canton and died at 69. 

Pirates of course are known for their sexy image as the bad boys of the sea, however that representation may be a little distorted if you believe the History of the Pirates by Nigel Cawthorne,  who declares that many early pirates were in fact more into bumming each other and had little time for the fairer sex.  Following many years at sea, they sought their sexual pleasure with shipmates and/ or cabin boys. However it seemed they had a good system of having it both ways.  Matelotge was their code of practice that meant that a couple of pirates could get together and keep their property conjoined so the survivor of the pair would inherit the others. On land however, if one pirate got the taste for a bit of pussy and married a woman, the other would share her as well as their material goods.   Happy all round then!

Female slaves however were not so enamoured with their lot in life, rape and sexual coercion of African woman by European men was all too commonplace on the slave ships. Having naked woman bunched in confined spaces or allowed to walk about served as a constant reminder of sexual exposure. Not only did the Captains take first pick and have a go, but even the common sailors were allowed to take these women against their will, leaving many coming off the ships with babies and full bellies.

Vikings were also notorious for the raping and pillaging as they travelled from Scandinavia to British and American shores. But did they?  Recent studies show that they may have well been overhyped on their formidable cock waving activities.  In fact historic remains show more ornaments, combs and decorative jewels than weapons of destruction.  However those finding are not going to make good films are they i.e. Clive Standen and Travis Fimmel spending a day at the Viking Salon!  No I think we girlies would prefer the fantasy of Gerard Butler as a Viking, riding the waves and approaching us with his large sword and having a bit of a rampage in our silk knickers!

If all that is all too much in the past for you, then how about a bit of modern hedonism at sea? Adult lifestyle cruises are out there for enjoying if you have the dosh or the inclination to shed all your inhibitions and your clothes. Erotic fun is on offer too with swinger cruises where you can turn your fantasies into reality with group sex, wife swopping, voyeurism and bum sex.  If you have ever experienced one of these cruises, we all at LiveChat would love to hear about it!

NB:  A final free fact on Sex and the Sea; the male sea slug has a very handy trick!  After shagging a local female for 10 minutes, he sheds his penis and grows a new one – and it’s ready for use within 24 hours!      Great..but not if you were a bloke on holiday in Magaluf!

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